Jurassic Spark

Once upon a (prehistoric) time, Toastmasters ran an Oral Reading Competition.

Some of our longer-toothed members — dinosaurs blessed with elephantine memories — decided it was high time for a revival.

And like most ideas hatched in the Mesozoic… it turned out to be spot on.

Young hatchlings and seasoned fossils alike dusted off their tree-product reading devices and trundled down to this week’s meeting, clutching everything from high literature to lyrical lunacy.

T-Rex Jillian presided regally over the assorted beasts and their chosen tomes, keeping claws, wings and egos in reasonable order.

Velociraptor Colman was first to the carcass, dragging in Bill Bryson and tearing into the prose with carnivorous delight. Her enthusiastic devouring of phrases caused visible salivation among nearby predators. It was touch-and-go for a moment.

I followed by lowering the collective mood several geological layers with T.S. Eliot’s The Hollow Men. Nothing says “good morning” at 7am quite like existential despair.

Thankfully, Jurassic Joyce lumbered in with mercy.

Before he even began his rendition of The Tennessee Birdwalk — made famous in the Cretaceous age by Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan — smiles were already spreading. “Take away their feathers and the birds will walk around in underwear…” Dignity was restored. Mostly.

Raptorex Rae then sidled up with a delightful tale about the joy a lottery ticket brought to a husband and wife — before they even knew the result. A story of optimism so buoyant it produced widespread tooth-baring among the raptors. The friendly kind.

Quetzalcoatlus Swaroop swooped in next, delivering Howard Roark’s defiant refusal to accept judgment from The Fountainhead  with admirable conviction, before Dino Davey changed the flavour entirely — quite literally — with a tale of recipe, resilience, and quiche technique.

Upon discovering she had also baked and supplied the actual quiche for the gathered horde, I can confirm the judging remained completely impartial and in no way influenced by pastry. (Maximum points.)

After coffee and quiche fortified the species, Pterodactyl Terry lectern-landed and lifted us skyward with Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Kritosaurus Cawley grounded us again with a powerful rendition from Jesus Christ Superstar. Jesus Christ, but he was good. Pearly Gates material.

Paul Deanosaurus offered Tolstoy on greed and mortality — always a crowd-pleaser before 8am — and Stegosaurus Smith brought proceedings to a suitably grand close with four iconic speeches from history, delivered with appropriate gravitas and minimal tail damage.

Official Results (as relayed from the Tyrannosaurus):

🥇 1st – Kevin 🥈 2nd – Richard 🥉 3rd – Chris

Special Categories: Funniest, Carol - Most Emotional, Richard & Terry  - Most Delicious , Kathy  - Weirdest , Far too many contenders to name safely.

It was a different kind of meeting — inventive, nostalgic, slightly unhinged — and thoroughly appreciated by all. The bellowing applause and calls for a sequel could be heard across the plains.

Sunrise Toastmasters remains a club rich in heart, humour, and no small amount of capability. If you’re keen to sharpen your speaking or leadership skills (or simply witness dinosaurs reading poetry at dawn), join us any Thursday at 7.00am for a look and a listen.

You’ll be warmly welcomed.

Contact details are available on this website.